Hermione's Diaries
by er121876
Summary: Ron and Hermione played happy families in the epilogue. But what really goes on behind closed doors- and in Hermione's head, which is much less sorted than she'd have you believe? Follow a downtrodden wife and weary mother who just wants to be young again, only with a bit more drunken madness than the first time, as she writes about her life and the surprising turns it can take.
1. Chapter 1: In which people vomit

_A reviewer has asked me (somewhat rudely, I'd appreciate it if everyone who is kind enough to review could also be kind enough to keep it polite and constructive) to add a warning about "Ron-bashing". I don't intend to "bash" any characters except the ones Hermione doesn't like and I won't be putting up any warnings apart from the obvious (there will be mentions of sex and some swearing)- if you don't like the way I write then don't read it._

_This is a diary written from Hermione's point of view during the time that she is married to Ron, and any wife gets fed up with her husband occasionally._

**_Saturday 19th August 2017_**

_13.37_

HORRIBLE argument with Ron today. Hugo was being sick all morning so I told Ron he'd have to make his own breakfast. He turned into the teenager I first knew him as. He started sulking and grumbling under his breath so I could only catch half of what he said, but it all sounded nasty. I told him I was his wife, not his mother, and it wasn't too much to ask him to feed himself every now and then. He had the nerve to tell me I'M the child- because I still keep a diary! He shouldn't be looking at them anyway! We may be married but I'm still entitled to some privacy.

Hugo's stomach seems to have settled down now, which is a blessing at least. Hopefully Rose won't get it too, or Ron and I will most probably go through all this again and another row will break out.

Mind you, Rose would probably get a bit annoyed if I looked after her as much as I have Hugo. She's getting to that sort of age now. Now it's nearly time for her to go to Hogwarts, she thinks she's ever so grown-up. I don't know what I'll do with only one child in the house (well, TWO I suppose! The way Ron's acting lately!). It's a cliché but it really does seem like only yesterday that she was in nappies.

Oh, poor Hugo... I can hear him crying again.

_15.32_

My sweet little boy! He told me he was really sorry for making me take time out of my day to look after him. He's such a gentle, kindly thing. I think it's Harry's influence; it can't be much to do with Ron.

Ron's just told me something surprising- apparently Draco Malfoy has a little boy who will be starting Hogwarts the same time as Rose. The news made us forget our argument entirely. I wonder if he's like his father? Things between ourselves and Draco were so different after the war. I can't say any of us will ever be _friends_ with him - but perhaps Rose can build a bridge. I'll have to make sure she doesn't listen to anything Ron says about him.

How funny that Rose, Albus AND Draco Malfoy's son will all be starting at the same time!

_19.26_

It's not that funny really. I write some rubbish in this diary sometimes.

**_Sunday 20th August 2017_**

_18.54_

Merlin, what a day!

Diagon Alley was absolutely HEAVING with people buying everything last minute. I TOLD Ron we should have taken Rose sooner. We've had since the start of July. And there seems to be so many more textbooks than we ever had to get- it's ended up ever so expensive.

I bet Draco Malfoy doesn't have to worry about the cost of school supplies.

_23.21_

Ron is snoring with his back to me. We haven't been married in THAT sense of the word for a couple of weeks now. I think it's just a dry spell.

**_Monday 21st August 2017_**

_08.14_

Excuse my scruffy writing. I've had to get the Knight Bus to work today because I keep coming over all funny when I Apparate. Ginny was quite adamant that I shouldn't do it for a while, so I'm stuck on this horrible bus that makes me feel even more ill.

I wanted to book this whole week off so I could give Molly a rest from babysitting, and I also thought it would be nice to spend some time with Hugo while he's recovering. They wouldn't let me, though. They said I need to give them more notice. Ron says it's because they can't cope without me, which was quite nice of him really.

I have to take a break from writing now because it's making me feel worse, and there's an old woman across from me who looks like she might vomit over the pages at any moment.

_19.02_

Just got home- that woman vomited all over my clothes! I'm NEVER getting the Knight Bus to work again. I don't care how bad Apparition feels at the moment. I Vanished the sick out of my clothes but I felt like I smelt awful all day, so I'm just going to jump in the bath before Ron gets home. Molly says she'll stay with Hugo for a bit.

Shouted hello to Rose but I don't think she can hear me over the music. She's into this new band where all the members look about 13. I was never very good at music when I was young myself, but even _I_ know this is rubbish.

**_Tuesday 22nd August 2017_**

_08.45_

Me and Rose have BOTH got Hugo's virus! I've Floo'd work to tell them and I don't think they believed me, seeing as I wanted this week off anyway. That is, they _didn't_ believe me until I projectile-vomited into the fireplace and splattered them both. I felt absolutely disgusting and vile but Ron wet himself laughing.

Nice to know you find your wife's misery amusing, Ronald.

_15.43_

I went back to bed after that last diary entry and guess what- I only just woke up! I feel a bit better vomit-wise but I've got a thumping headache now from sleeping for so long.

Molly's still here, bless her. She came over this morning when Ron told her I was ill and she's been looking after Rose and Hugo all day. Rose is a bit annoyed I think, because she thinks she's about 18. But you can see the smile she tries to hide when Grandma strokes her hair and makes her soup.

I swear that woman must put potions in her food. It makes everyone feel better.

**_Wednesday 23rd August 2017_**

_11.23_

Still feeling rough so stayed at home again today. I'll have to go in tomorrow or they'll think I made myself sick on purpose or something. God I hate that place. I never wanted to go into Law Enforcement- I wish I'd done something with S.P.E.W. Ron and Harry may find it hilarious but I don't care what they say- it just isn't right making slaves out of those poor creatures.

Rose is a bit better I think. Ron is treating us both as if we have the plague. He won't come near either of us.

I told Molly to go home as Rose isn't as bad. She offered to stay and do dinner but I just feel awful making her look after us all the time. She's had to bring up 7 kids- she deserves a rest now they're all grown-up.

Well, not all of them. Ron still acts like a child.

_11.34_

I feel wicked now. They're not all grown-up. I just remembered about Fred. I can't believe I actually forgot for a moment.

Eurgh, I'm just going to go to sleep again I think. Feel absolutely horrendous and now guilty as well.

**_Thursday 24th August 2017_**

_13.21_

Lunch break at work- been swallowing my own sick before it can come out all day. Disgusting but better than vomiting in people's faces. Pansy and Daphne still haven't forgiven me for the Floo incident.

I still can't believe I actually ended up working with Pansy Parkinson. Daphne is all right for a Slytherin but I dreamed up about twenty different ways of killing Pansy at school.

_13.31_

"All right for a Slytherin". I sound like Ron. Daphne is all right. Her personality has nothing to do with being a Slytherin.

_13.49_

Except the ambitious part. That's kind of the point of Slytherin as a House. And she's definitely ambitious- we're the same age, she did bugger all in the war, and somehow she's ended up my boss in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement.

**_Friday 25th August 2017_**

_12.07_

Oh, I can't wait until this week's over and I can feel sorry for myself all weekend. I'm sure it's Apparating back and forth every day that's keeping me ill. Rose's bug has pretty much gone now.

Can't even manage my lunch today. Might just have a nap on the sofa until I have to go back to bloody Pansy. She's loving the fact that my work isn't up to its normal standard. Luckily Daphne knows it's because I'm not feeling well. She's still not very sympathetic, though.

_19.03_

Oh my god- Daphne came in during my lunch and started talking to me about Rose starting Hogwarts. She said she's got a nephew starting this year too- and _guess who it is! _Scorpius Malfoy, Draco's son!

Apparently her little sister Astoria is Draco's wife. I don't remember her from school, but then she's two years younger so I don't suppose our paths would really have crossed.

I told her I hope Scorpius (strange name) and Rose will be friends. She just snorted.

Going out with Ginny on Sunday. Hopefully I'll feel more like myself by then.

**_Saturday 26th August 2017_**

_10.30_

Feel better already after a good lie-in and no need to Apparate anywhere. Just realised how soon it is that Rose leaves us though and that made me feel down again. It's less than a week before she goes!

I know she'll love it there, though; we all did. She's never been one to get homesick or anything like that. I'm a bit worried about Albus, though. He seemed really nervous that day we all went to Diagon Alley. I asked him if he was looking forward to going and he looked like he might burst into tears.

I'll ask Ginny tomorrow if there's anything he's said. If he's worried about the work being too hard he can always write to me and I'll do my best to tutor him by owl.

_15.42_

I feel healthy enough to cook a proper meal tonight, so I've just prepared the meat. Rose is complaining because it's supposed to be a Sunday roast, but if me and Ginny are going out then I won't have the time.

I'm not sure where we're going. I hope she's not expecting me to get dressed up. I don't think I can fit into any of my nice clothes since Hugo was born.

_19.18_

Nipped round to Ginny and Harry's to ask her what I should wear tomorrow. She wasn't in, though. Harry said she'd taken the kids out for a McDonalds. Ever since she discovered Muggle fast food she's turned into a bit of a fatty. Not physically, of course- Ginny will always be athletic and skinny. But she eats as if a fatty is just waiting to burst out of her.

I asked him- a bit desperately- if he knew what she was planning, and whether I should dress up. He told me I look lovely whatever I wear. It was sweet of him but I know it isn't true.

My hair is full of split ends and my face is so much pudgier than it was before I had children. Why do some women- like Ginny- lose the weight so quickly, and others- like me- just keep piling it on?

What really takes the pumpkin cake is that I'm the one who's running around at work all day and should be burning off the fat. Ginny gave up her career to look after the kids. Surely she should be the one who looks like a dowdy housewife, not me!

I feel a bit mean now. That sounded like I think there's something wrong with being a housewife. There's not, of course. It's Ginny's choice.

_19.43_

It's an odd choice, though. If I were Ginny I'd feel like I was turning into my mum.

_20.01_

Feel even meaner now.

**_Sunday 27th August 2017_**

_11.13_

Managed to convince myself that Ginny will know all the horrible things I thought about her last night and nearly decided I wasn't going. Luckily I realised I was being silly and haven't cancelled on her. I can't say I really want to go, though. I just know she'll drag me out to some bar or somewhere where we have to dance, and all the men will look at her and none of them will look at me.

Ron has got his driving test tomorrow. He's never going to pass, but I've made him a huge "Good Luck" card with the kids anyway. You never know- stranger things have happened. Not many, but still...

_16.45_

Ginny's coming over at 5.30 and we're going out at 6 and I still have no idea what to wear. My hair is taking forever to dry and I can't remember how to put on eyeliner without smudging it all over my face. Somehow I've managed to make myself look like an 80s drag queen even without my massive frizzy hair.

Think I might tell her I can't come.

01.03

ABSOLUTELY BRILL NIGHT. GINNY MAD. ALL THE BEST SONGS FROM SCHOOL. THINK I SAW SOMEONE FAMOUS. AWESOME!


	2. Chapter 2: In which Draco's hair flops

_**Monday 28th August 2017**_

_07.34_

Oh MERLIN, my head. Thank GOD my sickness is gone because I don't think I would be alive if my hangover was mixed with the dreaded bug.

Will tell you about last night on my lunch break. Head kills but from what I remember it was totally worth it!

_12.14_

Requested early lunch today- Daphne said yes and came with me because she is hungover too. I completely forgot that we saw her out last night! I didn't believe her until she showed me a photo of us all together. In it she keeps pointing at me and laughing and my eyes are all bleary and smudged but I look like I'm having the best time. Ginny has got her arms around me and is yelling 'NO NO NO' at someone off-camera. I get the feeling that men were actually interested in me last night!

I suppose that could be because I was so drunk they had half a chance, though. Probably not the best reason for men to be interested in me, especially when I'm married.

_12.50_

Eurgh, nearly time to get back to work. Thank god Daphne is feeling rough too. If I were hungover and she wasn't, she would be making me do all the worst jobs because she finds other people's hangovers absolutely hilarious.

I just saw that I wrote last night that I think I saw someone famous. I don't remember this. Maybe it's because I saw Daphne and I recognised her. Maybe in my drunken state I thought 'famous' meant the same as 'familiar'. Ron says where alcohol makes most people stupid, it just turns me into a regular person.

I feel the photo from last night proves this is not the case.

_19.11_

Typical- I felt horrible all day at work and now I'm home I feel fine! Surely it would be better if I felt crap here and OK when I actually need to do things.

Glad the hangover is gone, though. Haven't had to put up with those for a long time.

Well, ever, really. I was so bloody boring at school.

_19.26_

Why am I saying "at school"? I'm still boring now.

_**Tuesday 29th August 2017**_

_12.10_

Daphne is suffering from an extended hangover! She's decided that this means we don't have to do much work today. I feel guilty about it but she and Pansy told me not to be such a "pussyfuck". I'm not sure what that is but I feel a bit naughty writing it in my diary.

I just realised the epitome of a "pussyfuck" is probably someone who feels bad writing the word "pussyfuck" in her diary.

I hope no one ever sees this.

_22.23_

Slightly late entry today- no time to write when I got home because Rose has got in a mess packing for Hogwarts. I went into her room to help her and just burst into tears when I saw everything in boxes. She clicked her tongue and told me to 'Stop crying- I'll be back in a couple of weeks, Mum.' It's ten weeks! I know it will go faster than I think but what am I going to do without her awful music and her pre-teen tantrums?

I never thought I'd miss her stroppy moments but now I know I will. I might go around to Ginny's after work tomorrow and talk to her about it. I know she'll understand.

_**Wednesday 30th August 2017**_

_08.21_

Two more days before my little girl leaves me!

_19.04_

I'm going to cook a quick meal and then I'm going straight to Ginny's. Ron can warm his up when he gets in- if he can manage to work out how.

Rose and Hugo were really pleased to get pizza. I told Rose she'll miss my meals when she's at Hogwarts- the cheeky wotsit laughed and told me there was no way!

Little brat but she makes me smile.

_23.04_

Accidentally got a bit tipsy. As soon as Ginny opened the door she took one look at my expression and said, "I've got some vodka in the back." I protested but she was having none of it. I swear, Molly must have second sight or something- it's no coincidence that Ginny's name can be shortened to an alcoholic spirit.

Chatted for ages about how much I'm going to miss Rose. Ginny has got over it since James has been going for a couple of years now, but she's still a little sad over Albus leaving and she understands my pain. I'm so glad she and Harry live so close. Ron barely grunts two words at me these days, and though I love Rose and Hugo so much- and it kills me to say it- I can't really say I feel that close to either of them.

I mean, I am close to them. I'm their mother. But I'm not close in the way that Harry and Albus are, or that Molly and Ginny are. They really click with each other. It's like they're best friends as well. I don't have that with Rose or Hugo.

I think I'm still a little drunk.

_02.02_

Definitely still a little drunk. I just went into Rose's room to tell her how much I love her and that I wish we could be really close like Harry and Albus. She told me to shut up and go to sleep so then I got angry and told her not to talk to her mother like that. She said, "You're pissed, go to bed" and I was furious- she's eleven years old for Merlin's sake! She can't use those words!

_02.56_

Feel awful. Stomach's going round and round and can't stop thinking about how I stumbled into Rose's room to have an argument with her. I'm like those parents that were always on _Trisha _when I was growing up.

_**Thursday 31st August 2017**_

_11.23_

Daphne sent me home from work because I was in tears. Pansy rolled her eyes but for once Daphne was quite sympathetic. I went even more emotional then and told her I had a glass of vodka last night and was worried I was turning into an alcoholic. She just laughed and told me that if I was an alcoholic then she would have to have a real think about her own drinking habits.

In all honesty I have never seen her be that sweet to anyone before. She told me she remembered how awful it was when her little girl went to Hogwarts. She hasn't got any other kids and is a single parent so the house was left completely and sometimes she was terrified someone was going to break in and she would die without her daughter ever knowing. I just wanted to hug her then, but Daphne isn't really someone who hugs.

Going upstairs to help Rose carry on packing. Trying to keep it together but not doing very well.

_20.32_

Ron just got home and went mad at me when I told him Daphne sent me home! He said we couldn't afford to keep taking time off and I shouldn't such a wimp about it. I reminded him of the time he had a cold and took two whole weeks off work. He's such a baby when he's ill. I only took two days off last week and I felt terrible for all of it!

Rose backed me up, bless her. She told him not to be horrible to me and that I'm sad at the moment. He looked a bit guilty when she said that. Hopefully he's realised that he needs to stop treating me like a skivvy and more like his wife.

Mind you, considering how much his mother always did for him and his family, he probably thinks they're the same thing.

_**Friday 1st September 2017**_

_09.30_

I just don't want today to start.

_10.01_

Rose is still getting the last of her bits and then we'll be on our way to the train station. Ron is yelling at her to hurry up- if she misses the Express then Merlin knows what will happen- but I'm just sitting here feeling completely numb. She's my firstborn, my little baby. I don't want her to go off into the world on her own. I mean, I know it's Hogwarts, not the world. But when you're eleven years old and you're starting a new school and living with bitchy girls in your dormitory and missing your mum and dad- it feels like a new world. And it doesn't always feel like a nice one. I just hope she doesn't get roommates like I did. Hopefully she'll get a Ginny and not a Lavender.

_10.23_

Been in the car for ten minutes and there's already traffic and Ron is going insane. It's not THAT far. Besides, if she misses it then we'll get more time with her before she has to leave.

I don't mean that. I don't want her to miss the train and get told off on her very first day. I don't want her to end up like Harry and Ron and always be losing House points before they even get into the Great Hall.

_11.14_

Got to King's Cross with ages to go and Ron acted as if he'd been cool as a cucumber the whole time. Ginny gave me a look that told me she knew he'd been a nightmare, though. And she gave me a little reassuring smile that made me feel better when I was about to well up.

Albus looked ever so pleased to see Rose, bless him. He was absolutely terrified- he tried to hide it but he wasn't successful. James was teasing him about getting into Gryffindor and Albus thought no one else heard but I saw him ask Harry what would happen if he ended up in Slytherin. It looked like Harry did a good job of calming him down. Those two are so close, it's adorable.

Going to work now. Booked the whole day as holiday ages ago so we could both see Rose off, but now I think I need to occupy my mind so I'm going to go in and give them a hand.

Oh, I saw Draco's little boy as well! They look so alike that it's scary. He looks a lot like Lucius Malfoy too, but then so does Draco, so I guess that's no surprise. I got a glimpse of Daphne's little sister as well. She's even more beautiful than Daphne. She's got these enormous, almond-shaped eyes and the shiniest hair. Also the thickest, darkest eyelashes you ever saw. I'm so glad I wasn't standing close to her- Ginny makes me feel about 40, this woman would have made me feel 90.

She looked angry the whole time, though. I got the feeling people were talking about her. I suppose, in a way, the Malfoys are kind of famous, and not that well-liked, so she probably has to put up with it quite often. I would have liked to go and say hello to them- I know none of us got on with Draco, but it felt like the right thing to do. Ron dragged me away as soon as I mentioned it, though. He's not one to forget old prejudices.

Considering how much his father has fought for the rights of Muggles and Muggle-borns, you would think that Ron would realise his hatred of Slytherins is just as evil. They're NOT all the same, just like Gryffindors are not all the same. I mean, look at us and Neville compared to people like Peter Pettigrew!

Oh, I forgot Neville will be at Hogwarts. I'll write to him and ask him to look out for Rose, and let me know if she seems down or homesick.

She won't, though. She'll fit right in and love it there.

_19.04_

Daphne was really pleased to see me and I think she knew I needed to keep myself busy, so she found me lots of tasks to do. I'm exhausted now it's over but glad I went to work in the end.

Hugo is a bit quiet now Rose is gone.

_**Saturday 2nd September 2017**_

_09.54_

Feeling a bit glum but know I'm being silly so decided to use the day. Went in and asked Hugo if there's anything he wants to do. He said, 'Play Quidditch with Daddy.' All right you little Ron-lover. Daddy doesn't do piss-all for you but go ahead and love him more than you love me.

Went around to Ginny's to see if she wanted to do anything but she has her hands full with a very sick Lily. I ran out straight away as I don't need to catch anything else, thank you very much.

_10.21_

Now feeling really guilty because I didn't even ask Ginny if there was anything I could do to help.

No one wants to go anywhere with me- it's like being back at Hogwarts whenever Ron and I would argue and Harry would take his side. I just ended up at Hagrid's all the time. Sadly I can't do that now.

I might just go out on my own.

_17.04 _

WHAT. THE HELL. JUST HAPPENED.

I got so fed up that I decided to go into Muggle London on my own- and who should I see there but Draco Malfoy! I didn't think that man had ever been within breathing distance of a Muggle in his life. I thought he had only ever seen pictures of them in books.

He saw me too so we ended up saying hello and had quite a long chat. Eventually- and you won't believe this- well, of course you won't, you're a diary- but we went for a drink together! Draco is actually really funny. I can't believe I knew him for 7 years and always thought he was such an arse.

Well, he was an arse at school, but somehow he's developed a good side, which also happens to be funny.

We had a couple of drinks and got a little bit merry, but then I remembered I'd left Ron and Hugo home alone and thought I'd better leave before Ron tried to cook and ended up poisoning the only child that still lives at home.

Now, this may sound a little bit odd... but I think Draco looked a little disappointed when I said I had to go.

Obviously there's nothing in it- we're both married, he hates Muggle-borns, and he's DRACO MALFOY, for Merlin's sake. We don't even like each other in the regular sense, let alone the romantic sense. It must have been the booze.

I seem to be getting tipsy a lot lately. Usually I only drink on special occasions.

Getting a bus- not Knight, just regular, thank MERLIN- to somewhere a bit more secluded then going to Apparate home.

_17.44_

Ron got a bit funny with me when I said I'd seen Draco. He said, 'You didn't talk to him, did you?' and when I said yes he rolled his eyes and started sulking. I decided against telling him we had a drink together. Obviously I'm not doing anything wrong but Ron thinks Draco is the antichrist or something.

_23.01_

Draco looks much better nowadays. He's not quite as pale as he used to be- well, he's still pale, but he looks less like a corpse. He doesn't gel his hair back in that awful way anymore, either. It kind of flops into his eyes- not like the boys in that band Rose likes, more like in a kind of casual, bit-scruffy, bit-sexy way.

I did NOT just call Draco Malfoy sexy.

_**Sunday 3rd September 2017**_

_12.01_

Met Ginny for a café breakfast this morning. We had a real laugh at the way she says the word 'croissants'. She says it like she's trying really hard to be Fleur Delacour. And yet she says 'pain au chocolate' instead of 'pain au chocolat'!

Maybe I shouldn't have, but I told her about meeting Draco in London. She went a bit quiet when I told her I went for a drink with him.

'Did you get drunk?' she asked.

Me: 'No, no. We just had one and then he had to go home to his wife.'

It's a bit of a lie but I thought it sounded better than what actually happened. Or at least, I thought it sounded better at the time. Now I'm worried that the way I said 'wife' might have sounded a bit resentful.

Ginny still looked a bit awkward and eventually I thought I had better tell her she had nothing to worry about, I don't like Draco like that and I would never do that to Ron or the kids anyway. She started to say something and then she kind of sighed and went back to her food. I asked her if anything was wrong but she said not to worry about it.

I hope she doesn't think I feel anything for Draco. Surely she knows me better than that?


End file.
